This week I experienced an event I was not prepared for. While I was busy scheduling my work week, life decided it had other plans for me. Early Monday morning my beloved great-aunt Eleanor died in her sleep. She was 90 years young and was recuperating at home after a brief stay in the hospital.
What makes this so significant is that Aunt Eleanor and My grandmother, Grace are the last of five sisters. My grandmother is now the last living member of her immediate family. Eleanor’s husband Uncle Stanley and Uncle Jimmy are all that is left of what we call the 10 Titan’s. They are the glue that keeps our “big fat Armenian” family alive and well. They are also are mentors and supporters. Even in death they are still an everyday part of our lives.
Saying goodbye to one of the Titans, who we all believed would never die is a huge adjustment and I find myself overwhelmed with the task of dealing with my personal feelings over her death, the responsibility of being the only member of my immediate family living in CT, representing my immediate family and needing to support my mother and grandmother who were not well enough to make the funeral.
I had a full work week scheduled and I felt horrible thinking this is NOT a convenient time for a funeral and all it’s activities. But that is exactly what I had to accept.
Life is what happened while I was busy making plans.
Focus on what is important.
I began to focus on the time I didn’t spend with my Aunt who I was very close to. All the times we spoke about dropping by for coffee and or having lunch together with Uncle Stanley and her at Olive Garden. (She is a VIP and has her own special table)
I realized that for me family IS what life is about, with all the wonderful things she shared with us and the memories I have of her and her sisters. The stories, support and love they gave me are the examples they left for me. They paved the road I am on and I stand on their shoulders as I go through my life.
Aunt Eleanor was all about her word and her integrity.
She loved her family and her church. When she gave her word you could count on it like the sun shining in the morning. She gave of her time generously and greeted life with an enthusiasm and positivity that is very scarce these days. She was always dressed to the nines, ready to go out on a minutes notice never worrying about what to do and how to get it all done. She was stubborn and very committed to her beliefs but she was flexible and knew when to give in.
She lived 90 quality years and embraced every situation. Her parents survived the Armenian genocide in 1915, she started work at 13, lived through the depression, married and divorced at a time when women didn’t get divorced. Married my uncle stanley and had two wonderful children and helped raise over 9 nieces and nephews, four grandchildren and over 25 great neices and nephews. She was an integral part of each of our lives. She new personal information about all of us and was there anytime we needed her. She knew what was important and never let anything get in her way.
My Aunt always said “we all do what we want to do.” “If it is important you put it first”
Big Rocks
Reflecting on her words of wisdom I got through this week better than I could possibly imagine by acknowledging my big rocks and committing fully to them.
Now tell me what your big rocks are? (Place your comments using the form below)
Live in Abundance, Kim
When human death occurs, we should be reminded (yet again) that it is not the material things in our life which constitute true substance…it is the spiritual.
That’s one of my big rocks: Spiritual growth. It’s important to me to gain an ever-clearer sense of my spirituality. (The other four rocks are Family, Learning, Business, and Self-Care).
Rahna
Dear Kim,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family to support all you at this difficult time.
The winnowing process is very advanced in my immediate family. Just 2 older brothers and a cousin are older than I am. They are so precious to me and are definitely my BIG ROCKS.
Joan-Marie
Dear Kim,
Thank you so much for sharing your story about your great aunt. Please know that you are very much in my thoughts and prayers.
Mark Shepard
Dearest Kim,
My deepest sympathy to you for your loss. The love and the bond you shared with your aunt is now gives you more strength and fire in your heart. My grandmother was and is that person to me. Now, whenever I find myself in a difficult situation, I call on her strength to get me through. I know she is always with me. You now carry on the legacy of aunt Eleanor, and it is your responsibility to tell her story, as you have already begun to do. Now, we all know her and love her for all the reasons you do! Working with seniors every day, I appreciate all that they have to offer in their wisdom and strength to have carried on through the worst of times. Who are my rocks? My mom and dad, who at 80 have taught me the meaning of love, respect and patience. My son, who at 20 has endured more in his young life than I would ever want for him, and has come out a shining star, and friends, like you, who ever amaze me. Love to you, my dear!
Hello Kim,
My sympathy to you on your loss. We should share our losses as well as our gains to lighten the burden and to share the wealth. So, thanks for sharing. At times like these, it is easy to get preoccupied with finances, work and other pressing issues. For me, your note is a timely reminder that people and our relationships with them are what is most important. Peace be yours.
Rod
Sorry to hear of your loss. That is one thing about death, it is never convenient.
It is so strange when you know a whole generation is almost gone from your family.The generation ahead of you and the people who took care of you, nurtured you, and made you who you are today.
I was in the midst of my second year as an investor when my mother-in-law, who was 90 at the time, found she was now afraid to live in her home in the Bronx by herself. She came to live with us and I became caretaker helping her with all her personal needs. I found it very difficult to do all I needed to do but in the end I found out I was very strong. I thank God I was able to help her when she needed me and still manage to continue to run my properties and work a 32 hour job.
Funny,we did not get along well when I first married her son and it took about 15 years for us to appreciate each other. When she passed away,just before Thanksgiving 3 years ago, there were only 2 other members of the family in that generation left. There is now one and my husband and I will be the top generation when the last one is called home. It is a sobering thought but part of the circle of life.
Kim,
My “big rocks” right now are home, family and nurturing relationships.
With so much to distract us at this time of year and in these uncertain times, it’s crucial that we strive to remember what really matters. Thank you, Kim, for reminding us that family is glue that holds our often-crazy lives together!
Wishing you peace and healing and the blessings of many fond memories of times spent with your beloved Great-Aunt Eleanor,