How Do You Handle It When People Disappoint You?
Today’s musing is about to handle the frustration you feel when people you know and love disappoint you and fail to live up to their word and most important to your expectations.
Isn’t it frustrating when people don’t follow through like they said they would?
Frustration is that furious feeling that vibrates through out your entire body creating the need to scream, shout and kick your feet.
When you are frustrated, You find yourself saying things like:
“I can’t believe this happened”, or “This is so not happening”
“ I can’t believe they did that” or “What was I thinking?”
“Why can’t people just do what they are supposed to”
“ I am so done with this” or “Why do I bother”
This is what I re-learned and became aware of this week:
“People do things for their own reasons and what they do or don’t do is not personal to us”
This helps me step back so I can respond to the situation instead just reacting emoitonally.
It is so important to separate from what is happening from the meaning you are giving it. The meaning that you are assigning the situation is what is fueling the frustration.
These are the steps I use when I am in need of seeing past my disappointment so I don’t scream my head off.
Accept the situation.
Accepting what is happening doesn’t mean you agree or will continue to allow it to happen.
When this happens ask yourself:
What can you learn from this? Or What could you do differently next time?
Be willing to be flexible, forgiving and forge ahead using your frustration as fuel to breakthrough to your next level of success.
Remember this about frustration…
Frustration occurs right before you learn something BIG! The bigger the frustration the bigger the WIN!
Speak Up
Only when you are calm and can see clearly what is bothering you, speak up and stand up for yourself.
My favorite phrase to use when I need to make people aware of an issue is… “This doesn’t work for me”…
What I love about this phrase is that there is no defense to it. You are not accusing anyone or stating anything that can be denied or invalidated. There is nothing to say. Stay in the present and speak your mind. Tell the person what isn’t working and what would work better for you.
Be Willing to See Alternatives
Now this is a little easier said than done but important all the same. Watch not what people tell you but rather what they do. Actions do not lie. I.f someone consistently lets you done you need look at your alternative options
When in conflict or stress with a situation or someone;
You ALWAYS have 4 choices:
- Change the situation
- Change your perception of the situation
- Cope with the situation
- Leave the situation
Your job is to know which choice is best for you. Choose one and stick to it. Be honest and be kind.
Success IS Your Birthright! Breakthrough and claim it.
Enjoy today’s musing,
Kim
PS. Share your strategy and thoughts about handling the frustration you feel when you get disappointed in the box below.
